Isn't she fazed by any of this? Does she do this all the time? Make unsuspecting, seemingly straight girls squirm? Or am I making it all up? But making up what? The butterflies are real. The fact that I want to kiss her is real.

Would kissing a girl be different from kissing boys? If all I did was kiss her would that make me queer? Are you queer just for thinking it? Or does doing it make you queer? And what if I don't want to be queer? Do I get a say in this at all?

Just when she thinks she knows who she is, Hope falls in love—and her world is turned upside down.


Because of a moment of indiscretion, Hope’s parents send her to New York to spend the summer with her hipster sister while they travel to Thailand. Miserable, Hope ends up meeting Nat, and developing a powerful crush. The only problem is that Nat is a girl. Hope is pretty sure she isn’t gay. Or is she? Struggling with new feelings, fitting in and a strange city far from home, Hope finds that love—and acceptance—comes in many different forms.

Carrie Mac has also written Orca Soundings novel Charmed, and her teen novel, The Beckoners, is also available. She lives in Vancouver, British Columbia and has spent time in New York City.


  • Commended, Young Adult Library Services Association (YALSA) Quick Picks 2007
  • Commended, Resource Links, The Year's Best Books 2006


"This book achieves the goal of providing a provocative storyline with high teen appeal. ..Recommended. "

- CM Magazine

"Absolutely charming. ..Mac infuses so much passion and heart into. ..this witty, entertaining glimpse into one kid’s summer of discovering that 'life is really hard if you’re a person who's alive. '"

- John Burns

"A bright, lovely novel. ..well thought out. "

- Hi-Rise

"An emotionally complex story. Communal living, drug addiction, and, of course, the lesbian content will all be sure-fire discussion points, and these same elements, especially the hot romance, make this an intriguing book for fluent and struggling readers alike. "

- The Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books

“I was impressed by this book and how it handled a sensitive and potentially awkward situation. ”

- Resource Links

"[A] strong story of love and sexual identity, rooted in well-drawn characters and well-imagined situations. "

- Quill & Quire